Ordinary Secrets

So there I was, starting my thirty minute drive to work. I was going through the street lights as easy as day. I kept wondering if there was going to be a red light that stopped me in my tracks. I got lucky that day. I purchased my new but used, electric vehicle about a year ago. I really enjoy all the features it is and the ease of mind that comes with it, as I no longer have to wonder what thirty year old man with a beard is going to try to get more money out of me then needed.

As I was going around the bend of this street, I noticed there was a vehicle beside me. I would say I was going about 45 miles per hour. The car next to me had to be matching my speed because I then felt the awkward moment of going the same speed as a stranger where the hood of our cars were aligned. I startled to feel like I had to either get in front of him or slow down on purpose at let him go, just out of ensuring the awkwardness faded. As I let off, so did the car next to me. At that moment, I felt annoyed the car next to me tried to be a good person to. The next choice of course, was to speed up and get ahead of him.

As I start to speed up, I see the next red light coming up with two lanes. I was on the far left, ahead the right lane turned only right. If the person did want to turn left or go straight, they would have to move into my lane. I tried to time in my head if the car could in fact speed up, get in front of me, and not be a complete ass and have to slam on their breaks.

The car matched my speed and the red light was getting closer. In this moment, we were already pushing 49-50 miles per hour. I could decide to break the speeding law even more than what I already was, or give in to my opponent. I became stubborn there for a second and then I thought, “what’s so bad about being behind someone? Why do I need to be in front?”

My tension started to fade, my shoulders relaxed, and my foot let off of the petal. The car next to me sped up enough to then get in front of me as the lane I was in was where my opponent wanted to go. I saw through the windshield a hand waving back at me giving thanks. We both stopped at the red light, the black SUV in front of me. That’s the moment I let Gods grace take over my heart.

We sat at that light for what felt like forever, then it turned green. Off we went, where the car sped up faster than I ever intended. As we continued the next five miles, I could still see the SUV ahead. Right before I turned off the road to head a different direction, I saw the cars taillights light up red. There was a police cruiser doing speed checks. Lucky for me, instead of speeding and being stubborn, I chose peace. This led to a helpful consequence: not getting a ticket.

I fear many small choices make up who we are. Little moments that one may not think important, are the ones indeed that are. It was a struggle internally for such a perceived simple thing and all of us, continue to be tested in reality of this world.

My secret: I wanted to be in a more powerful position that made me feel like I won in some way. I assume my opponent did too, as the car decided to speed and win the short race. The thing is, it’s a common and ordinary experience. In reality, we as humans are much more alike than we may think.